First entry from Manchester !!

QUICKIE POST !

I know I haven't been on to write. Well I have my own reasoning. You wouldn't want to know and I don't want to start ellaborate because it will get extensively long and soon will get BOOOO-RRRINGGG. Well yea, I still use that word sometimes. Though I tried to avoid it. But anyways.

Moving on...I am finally in Manchester !!! Yippy doo daa !! Hehe. Yes, finally Alhamdulillah. So far, I love everything here. I have nothing to brag about. Why would I ? I should be grateful because where I'm standing, not everyone get to experience it. And God knows how grateful I am. Not because I'm specifically in United Kingdom ;one of my many favourite places, but simply just because I'm somewhere not near my family and abroad. In a good way people in a good way. I tremendously miss home ! But you know what they told you, to get to know life, you have to start living away from your comfort zone. At least until you know you benefit something from it. Okay, I might made that up -___-. But it's true. And I think I've heard it from somewhere, only the way they translate it was different from the one I made up. Haha. Okay, I hope you guys get me -__-

Anyways, since I came in last Wednesday, I was trying hard not to have that much fun. Pushing myself against the wall and knocked myself out to make myself miss home and everything. Made that up again. But you get what I mean. Hehe. And I guess the reason why I've been very hard on myself to not have that much fun was simply because I don't want to feel like I'm betraying the life I had in Malaysia. You know. It's like, if I had too much fun here, it's like telling the others back in Malaysia that I am doing better without them and that I don't miss them at all. I am actually enjoying and loving my days here, and yet, the guilt by having those feelings did managed to put me off sometimes. I finally came to realized that it's okay for me to have fun and be happy ever since I got this one text message from Maa saying that she's very happy that I'm taking things positively though right at that time, I was alone and got no one to turn to because I told her the truth about being here, which is I'm having the time of my life. It actually makes me feel good. Really good. And knowing that the people I love actually want me to be happy here instead of spooning around with ice cream on the bed, alone, miserably, makes me feel,...happy (: Thanks to Maa (:

Alhamdulillah, some friends back in Malaysian tried to keep in touch with me. They want to know what's happening here. And it makes me happy that they're following me through this. And I am absolutely happy that I can share things with them eventhough I'm too far from home. Having to get news from them is a great feeling. You can actually feel that they're not that far and they're still thinking about you and hopefully missing you. Hehe. Thanks to those who made me feel that way. And those who don't, I know your ego is bigger than mine. So yea, I forgive you (: Hehe.

Okay. Got to run now. I'm going out with Jo bro my neighbour. She's hilarious ! You would love her if you have the chance to get to know her ! She actually reminds me of Aida. So, I believe you know how Aida acts. Crazy funny !

Keep in touch,
Love love love,
Lisa / Fara.


P/S : I'm back on Twitter ! Haha. Blame Syasya and Zarina on this. I started today, so umm yea.

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LifesbeginningtospeedupNowhowtostop?

Alive

I know I've been MIA for quite awhile now. Not very good at juggling things all at once. I'm a no multitasker. I've been appointing myself to clean, clean and clean the house. Just so I can get the house prepared for Hari Raya. I know I won't be here long for Raya. And it's, well, sad ): Though I won't be here, I hope the family will have a great wonderful Raya this year. And I hope with me helping out around the house now will help to create a better environment for them to celebrate this coming Raya. I know I know, I can get pretty dull when I talk about cleaning. Maybe I am just a dull person myself. So bare with me if you're still reading (:

Alhamdulillah, many great things happened this past few days. I had a few hardship too. Been stressing a lot. Too much on my mind I guess. Sometimes I wonder how to not think too much. But I never really get the answers. Anyway, I don't want to sound problematic during this Ramadhan. So let's just leave the 'not so good things' behind shall we ? (:

I don't think I'll be up to do a long post for this one. I'll get things updated soon. Pinky swear (: I have a lot to share. But if you happened to know me, you'll know that I don't always post on the things I sometimes wish to post about. I'm not very good at managing my time just yet. It's hard when you have a lot of things to do in mind but the time won't put to slack for you. So I'll leave you to surprise for my next post. Not that it ever gets interesting anyway. But wait for it. Wait for it. Bye (:

Random ramadhan's journal

I should still be able to remember how affected I was with Raya when I was younger due to the amount of money I used to collect. Back then, Raya was the reason we, okay maybe, I, was willing to sacrifice my nafsu makan because parents used to say, '1 hari puasa, 1 ringgit'. Bribing much. Hehe. Yes, back then it only took RM1 to get me all hyped, happy and feeling like a RICH girl ! Haha. And a month of Ramadhan was more than rewarding to me when Raya days finally came. Meaning, more money to collect ! Those days were all about collecting duit duit duit ! Kecil-kecil lagi dah mata duitan. Besar-besar gold digger kah ? Haha. InsyaAllah NO !

But as I am now turning older, umm, 21 to be exact this year. I came to realized that I am an aficionado in collecting more pahala (rewards from God) than money itself. I sounded so baik perhaps you say ? Haha. Well I'm not. Probably that's the most possible reason why I'm up to collect more pahala now than way back then. We all know quite well that we were born to be a sinner just because we humans aren't perfect. I'm sinner myself and I admit that. As you get older, you'll realized how much more of a sinner you already are. Just because now you took the time to immortalize the past in which perhaps you wish to do better at to strut something better now for your own future undertakings. Which to me is a good thing. At least you know where you are at. And I actually know where I'm at. And insyaAllah, maybe that's why I'm writing this down. To remind myself and the others. I hope all of us will took the time to study ourselves this month. Don't take this opportunity for granted. This might be your last Ramadhan. We wouldn't know, right ? And insyaAllah, it will not be our last.

Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan's been hard this year but I took it all well. First day as always was exciting. And luckily this year, it felt short and easy as it have had always been a bit hard on the very first day of the fasting month. And I felt lucky to have all of the family members eating together on the first day of break fasting. Especially when this year, we actually decided to eat together in the kitchen with two round tiny tables instead of at the big dining table. Somehow it brings the family together more. I'm not sure why. Maa thought if would be easier for us to clean things up after berbuka and later get ready for our usual tarawikh in Damansara with Ustaz if we eat in the kitchen instead of at the dining hall. No maid this time remember ? Anyhow, it didn't stop us from talking to each other although half of us were sitting at a separate table nearby. It even got louder this way just because we have to speak up in a higher tone to let the person at the other end hear us. The concept was kind of funny, but it didn't matter. All of us were there. That's what matter the most. It was also the first day that all of us went for tarawikh together because Akmal rarely join us.

As for the second day, the family went to Al-Rawsha for berbuka with Uncle Wan's family, Pak Andak's family and Uncle Izhar. Wowo and I couldn't join though because we were stucked in a traffic jam while getting back from Petaling Jaya for Wowo's dentist appointment. It was hard to get my nerve all calm on the road because I highly detest traffic ! Though it would be super nice for us to join the family and their big dine, I'm just thankful we got through another day of puasa. We didn't went for tarawkih that day because the family came back home a bit too late. Since we had some spare time after iftar, Wowo and I decided to bake brownies while waiting for the others to get back. First attempt and it wasn't all bad. It turns out gooood (:

The third day was a bit hard for me because I had migraine since 11 a.m. in the morning up until after berbuka. Even worst, I had a toothache too. I tried to bare with the pain by going to IKEA with my sister , Wowo around 3 p.m. to get some things to revamp one of the room in the house. Though IKEA always fascinate me, it didn't do much to distract me from feeling the pain even more. And as much as I wanted to go for tarawikh, I couldn't bare to even move a little. I had a few bites for break fasting before swallowing down a few pills. So far, it was the worst Ramadhan I had in years. But I was tough through out the day especially when I had to bare with the bad traffic on our way back home from IKEA. I'm glad God gave me the will to go through with fasting. And it was fun to get some extra attention from Maa too. Haha. Ngee (:

The fourth day, which is on Saturday. I decided to not sleep in after sahur to help Maa with the house chores and get started with my on plan Ramadhan cleaning since I've got all of the stuff I needed from IKEA the day before. I was looking forward to change the whole outlook of the room. And so I gave my full attention through out the whole day to clean some things up in the room. Built in one of the wardrobe by myself when later Wowo came to join in and help. As for iftar that day, I had a normal family dining. Nothing out of the ordinary. Foods were great and all of us were there. But being with the family is always special though it was ordinary. Even through rough patches, right ? I was also on for tarawikh with the family again that day after 2 missing days. Blessed.

On the fifth day of fasting, had a big family dine in with extra delicious foods after all the hard work of putting through an almost complete good looking room filled with clothes. Yes, we can now officially called it as a walk-in-closet. Maa got so excited with the new wardrobe. And the expression on her face that very minute was priceless because she honestly look like a kid when she saw. It was nice to know how much she loved the wardrobe eventhough we haven't done with everything just yet. Worthy effort indeed. That very night for iftar, she made her famous black pepper sauce, marinated veggies stuffed chicken, roti john and buttered prawn with egg floss. It was the best iftar I have had yet for this Ramadhan. Hoping for more great iftar in the coming fasting days. And as usual, later that night we went to Damansara for tarawikh with the Al-Khaadem clan. Again, blessed.

The next day was the usual yet again. Nothing out of the ordinary. Catching up with the Ramadhan cleaning alone. But got satisfied with the result. This was also the first day we ate at the big dining table together. This was of course better than the two separate round tables because we can now talk to each other with an eye-to-eye during meal. Tarawikh as usual later that same night.

As for day 7 of fasting, had better visual of the 'walk-in-closet' as it is now very near to almost fully cleaned and organized. And the house look extra squeaky cleannn too !! Can't believe I did it all by myself. I know, conceited much. But please excuse me, I think I deserve it. But I did have some help from Yaya to move around some things. Couldn't possibly do that by myself because I'm no body builder. So, thank you Yaya ! And by the end of the day, that is after iftar, went to see Alonn for Tutti Frutti in Sunway. Missing tarawkih for the 3rd time. But it was all for good intention. Haven't seen him in months. 4 months to be exact. And since I don't have much time left here, it was for the best that I see him now. Afraid that I might not be getting anymore chances to see him later on. By the way, he looks great with a shorter hairdo. Glad he finally cut his hair off short. Ohh, and without the mustache too. Suits him much better than before. Plus, he finally lose some weight ! Yayy ! Happy for him. Keep going Alonn !

It's been 7 days since the first day of Ramadhan. Can't believe how fast time flies. Apparently though, I haven't done much deeds for the sake of Allah this Ramadhan. Except for tarawikh of course and the usual tazkirah right after. Cleaning was a good way to spare my time in the house. I personally think I'm not wasting my time doing it because I did for the sake of helping Maa out around the house and at the same time, for the sake of my religion too. Because Islam beseech us to be clean and that cleanliness is one of the most important things in portraying the real picture of Islam. But I really need to finish up with the cleaning soon. I need to pay better attention in getting more rewards from Him by doing other things like reading the Koran and it's translation. I'm quite lacking at that. What's the purpose in owning one if I don't make used of it ? Right ? InsyaAllah I will try to fit myself through with that. As long as the intention is there, insyaAllah God will help me find the time to.

I think that's all for now. I hope all of you had a great Ramadhan. And insyaAllah many more great days ahead this month for all of us (: Amin.

One of the things I can not bare. Not ever.

Karen Mok on behalf of the bears

The usual. I cried.

This is vile and inhuman. I'm not sure how I could help these bears. I don't have the power and the money to. I'm just wildly hoping for miracles to happen. Thought of sharing this devastating news.

Mood : Happy (:

Greetings earthlings,

I come in peace \/

Umm. Okay I'm not sure why I did that. It's unexplainable.

Anyway, after meeting some friends from KLIUC yesterday and today, I can finally smile wide (: I've been missing some friends really bad. You don't know how I've been struggling to find my way in between times to see them. God knows. And I was even half way from crying while hugging Nina yesterday after running into her in KLIUC. The last time I saw her was during my birthday. And she never failed to remember and celebrate it with me. Indeed I always feel special because birthdays often felt normal in my family just because we don't celebrate it. Not as much. It all comes down because Dad used to it and just because he comes from an unfortunate family where birthdays aren't that important to anyone and people tend to not even remember their own birthdays. Life was very hard back then for him. He's an inspirational for always staying true and grounded.

Okay. I did it again. Haha. You have to get used to it by now.

Where was I again ? Oo yea, friends. After spending little time talking to Nina, went to meet Amal at UNITEN afterwards before getting back home. We didn't get to talk that much. But by just meeting her was more than enough to get me smiling. Today, went to KLIUC again to get my graduation robe. It looks super lovely and guess what ? Brand new too !! We get to be the first batch wearing the new robes. Aren't we're the lucky ones. Hehe. Feels like keeping it pun ada. Too bad that's not even an option to begin with (I guess). Can't wait to see everybody this Saturday. I swear I'm going to try very hard (or I might not have to even try)to have so much fun ! Not going to miss out each and every moment from it. Hope everything goes well for all of us on that day. God, I beg you to please ! Amin.

Anyway, I'm glad that I get to finally spend some time with Naj today. It was nice talking to her because she gets me. It was great to let everything out from my system too. I needed that. And I'm looking forward to spend more time with her. Hopefully, insyaAllah. We'll be doing each other a favour if it happens (: As for Zila, Jojie and Izil, I bet I'll be seeing those faces soon enough again. In fact, as soon as tomorrow insyaAllah. Haha. They've been around for the most part. Lurking through my every phases. Maybe not always. But like I've said, for the most part. Glad I knew these people (:

That's it for now. I'm practically too happy to blog. That's dangerous. Being too happy aren't always a good signal. If you get what I mean, then clever you (:

Toodles Caboodles !

Once a fairytale

(Yaya got interrupted by Aru after receiving a phone call from someone during Aru's tuition)

Aru : Who is it ? Is it Midzi ?

Yaya : No -__- (In her mind : Aru's a weirdo !)(continues talking before putting down the phone a minute after)

That was one of Yaya's conversation with her Physic's tuition teacher (and mine during my days), Mr Aru.

Yaya told me how Aru adores Midzi. And that she can see how much Aru misses him because he talks about Midzi a lot. Well, I should see that coming. Aru and Midzi had always bonded well back in those days. They're like two peas in a pod. Looking so mutual and so ummm, gay ? Hehe. Sometimes I can't help but to feel jealous over Aru because he had better chemistry with Midzi than me. How can a Physic teacher beat a girlfriend in this case ? Back in those days okay. Don't think bukan-bukan. Haha.

Anyway, let's not change the subject because that's not where I should be heading. Yaya told me that Aru couldn't sound more astonished when she told him that I was no longer with Midzi. I mean, common, those days were long over. Cerita basi already. And we thought Aru would already know it because let's face it, Midzi and Aru seems inseparable even after all these years. Two peas in a pod plus gayness shouldn't be separable ! Kan ? -___-

Yaya : They had ended well long time ago la Mr Aru.

Aru : Ey, how can la ? Tipulahh. Your sister was so in love with Midzi. They were so in love with each other.

Yaya : Mana adalah Mr Aru. They were high schoolers back then.

Aru : No lahh. They're so in love with each other la. Takkan lah dah break. They seem long lasting. Couldn't be la.

Yaya : (Yaya making an 'erkkkk' face) What ever you say Mr Aru.




I just laughed. Midzi would love to hear this. I'll bet on it !

You eat, you shut up and stop whining

*A long stare at the monitor while rubbing my tummy*

I'm so full. Ate 2 nasi lemak for brunch today. I can now skip dinner thank you. Feeling a whole lot of food guilt because I had too much to eat. I don't think I can fit in my normal black skinny jeans anymore. Why do I have such big appetite ? *Staring at some Toblerones in a candy bowl*

God knows how long I've been neglecting any physically active routine. I'm not as lucky as some of my friends. They get to eat their lungs out everyday, but still managed to stay stick thin. You have to hate them for having the kind of genes you long wish you have. Just because they can stuffed their self with great tasty foods all day long. I'm an eater. I need those genes ! Anyhow, I'm grateful with what I have. I know I will never get to be stick thin or skinny because I honestly don't wish to be one. I admire woman with curves. Curves that are well proportion with just enough muscles. I know I need to work out to get that kind of body. And trust me, when I do shed some of my extra weight by working out, I will stop whining right after I eat. I know when to stop worrying about my weight. I'm aware that some people never gets enough being their thin self and wants to be thinner than thin. Have you ever heard of anorexia ? Be healthy honey. Love your body and feed them with the right amount. Trust me, you won't be as big as me ! I'll bet on that.

Sometimes I feel like killing some of my friends who constantly kept insisting that they're fat. If you're fat, what am I really ? Fatso Rhino ? I personally think people really should be careful about the things they about to say. Especially when you're making a statement about you being fat though we all know very well you're not. Get it, you're NOT ! Maybe I'm not the best person to give out advices on loving your body in every shape because sometimes I'm ungrateful myself and put myself off because I felt so fat after I binge too much on foods. But trust me, I know when to stop insisting because eventually people will feel annoyed if I don't. I don't think it's fair when someone kept complaining about their weight or figure with someone that's with the issue even more. It's selfish ! Try to be more absorbent because you might hurt other people's feeling by trying to convince them you're fat when you're actually NOT. Nak keding macam mana lagi ? Haih. Just when I thought I was the only one that always feel unsatisfied slash ungrateful with my body, those people might have way bigger issue than mine and might have proved me wrong after all. Let's be grateful together now shall we ? (:

As for now, I know I should be running around and jumping. But I simply not up for that just yet. Just yet ? Yea. When will it be then ? Typical, typical me. Haha. Instead, let's talk about foods. Haha. Yes foods ! Since Wowo's back from Egypt. I decided to list out some of the places where we could dine together as a whole family.

1. Jack's Charbroil Steak House.

Ohh yummm. One of my favourite place to eat steak. But steak was not all there is to eat. I'm crazy for their Escargot Bourguignonne and Lobster Thermidor.

2. California Pizza Kitchen.

The family and I have been here once. But once is just enough to get us coming again. Cheeseburger pizza have got to be the best pizza I've ever tasted. Okay okay. Maybe the one in Mecca too. But, this is definitely one of my favourite. Other than that, the red velvet cake and the key lime pie are to die for ! Must try !

Love the asparagus sticks !

I'll make sure to try the asparagus soup on our next visit. And many other too. Eat while you can !


3. Tonka Beans Cafe Deli, Ramadhan Buffet in Impiana Hotel, Kuala Lumpur.

Read this one in the newspaper a few months back. And been waiting for Wowo to come back from Egypt because I personally want to experience this with all of us being together forever. Haha. You get what I mean.

4. Melaka.

Kampung-sweet-kampung. Okay, so maybe I changed the famous paraphrase (Home-sweet-home). But all means well for this post and this post only. Where is the best place for ikan bakar ? Hands down it is indeed in Umbai but of course.

5. Raku, Concorde, Shah Alam.

This is the family's favourite place to eat Japanese Foods. Even the workers recognize us and kept saying 'Dah besar dah' almost everytime we came to visit for makan. We usually have lunch or dinner buffet. But they no longer provide buffet services there. Therefore, we haven't been eating there in more like what it seems 2 years. Planning to get the parents down there again.


6. Alexis.

Never had anything besides their meringue berries and a few drinks. Though I highly prefer Delicious strawberry pavlova, the meringue berries taste A-okay for my taste bud. Hoping to get the family to dine there together soon.

7. Sushi King, Subang Parade.

The family love it here. Ever since Raku no longer provide their buffet services to their customer, we turned to Sushi King instead. Practical with the conveyor belt display sushi. And us love Pino ice cream for dessert ! A must !

8. Serai, Section 3, Shah Alam.

Come come come ! (Helping to promote the restaurant. Haha) It's our family's friend restaurant. It's a great place to eat Thai foods. I personally love everything there especially the 'kerabu mangga'. They have other franchise in Pavillion, Kuala Lumpur called 'Serai Satay Bar' that sells satay. And the latest franchised were opened in Empire Shopping Gallery called 'Serai Empire'.

9. Al-Rawsha, Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur.

I know most people would prefer 'Andalus' and 'Castle'. But my family and I have always dined here for great Lebanese Cuisine. It's another family's friend place. Yea, that's why. But the foods are great. My favourite have got to be 'lamb mandi'. Yummm !

10. T-bowl Concept Restaurant, Sungei Wang Plaza, Kuala Lumpur.

Thanks to Wowo and Syasya, I really want to experience eating something out from a toilet bowl. Their ideas ! Haha. I'm not sure why people would eat something from a toilet bowl plate while seating on a real toilet bowl. Sounds rather disgusting right ? But the experience sounds different. That what makes the experience exciting. Okay okay. Fine. I dare to be disgusting. By the way, they're opening their 3rd outlet soon in Sunway Pyramid this November. Be sure to check them out !

11. Pepper Lunch, Sunway Pyramid, Subang Jaya.

This time bringing the whole family !

12. The Garden Restaurant.

This time bringing the whole family !


Other than the ones I listed, I'm up to try out 'Full House', 'Tarbush' and 'Yogi Tree'. Anymore great places to eat you wish to introduce to me ? Please don't hesitate to leave out comments then.

Coming soon

Coming updates, insyaAllah :-

1. Food and I
2. Cuci The Musical 2



As for now, I have other important things to do. Including watching 'Life Unexpected' on the tivo. Hehe.

The thoughts will just have to wait

As I recall - many hours in the office and during my way back home while Uncle Burn was droving the car -, I think I had so many things to include or blog about. There were just so many things I wish I could share that I hardly can concentrate for more than 5 minutes in the amidst of freezing cold office atmosphere.

Been busy trying to juggle my remaining precious time here. How I wish I could just skip the office hour with other things I wish to prioritize. I really need to see some friends before I leave. Hang out and catching up. You know, having fun.

But knowing me, I will never know how to say 'No' to Daddy-O. He wanted me to be ahead all of the others. Learning and understands everything before anyone else. How can I not love him because that's how he cares for me ? As much as I love my mother, I ALMOST always have something to go against her. It's different with Maa. I'm closer to her, yet, my thoughts and hers are always clashing. With her, I did what I'm best at, which is being defensive and opinionated. Ergo, I always go against her. Unworthy child indeed. I'm sorry Maa (:

I don't usually turn on my defensive, opinionated mode with Ayah. It's my way of respecting him. Not that I don't have any respect with Maa. I do. 'Syurga itu dibawah telapak kaki ibu' kan ? It is just, with us being so alike (we're both ego, competitive, defensive and opininated) making the attraction hard to blend in. It's like we're magnets. The positive only attracts the negative magnitude right ? It's like she's a negative magnitude and I'm positive. Why do I get to be positive you ask ? No reason. It can be the other way around and my main point will still be the same. You get what I mean right ? I know she'll miss me when I'm gone. Just because I'm different from all of the others that are always nice to her. Going with her every words. Obeying and abiding. Well I'm not ALL that. Believe it or not, I'm the most rebellious child of hers. Hands down.

I seriously need to stop changing topics like a blink of an eye. Don't even ask how I got here. Hehe.

Being home after long hours at work can be so..peaceful. I couldn't even recall any of my thoughts earlier. Sheesh. It's like my mind was being drained by the serenity in this reckless home of mine. You hear me, reckless. Because there're just so many junk in here (with no maid making it even worst). It's time we get rid of some of the JUNK or if murah rezeki, perhaps, buy a bigger house ? Ahem ahemm, 'Daddddd *freakishly smiling like a lunatic*. Get the signal ?' Hehe. I sound like a huge brat. Benci ! Tarik balik.

When you started missing your friends. Google them !

I miss Shatt ): So I started to Google him. Haha. And I stumbled upon Adibah's blog. One of his closest cousin. And this was what she had to say about him on a recent survey :-




Awww right ? (: I feel so lucky to be surrounded by great friends all of a sudden. Alhamdulillah (:

Mak nenek strikes back

Rise and shineeee ! Not quite a good day for the German fans I predicted. Haha. Yes, I can predict now. Oooo My Goddd ! (Sing it Usher style this time !)I hate predictionsss ! Anyways, let's skip the things we already know. Yes yes, Viva la Espana. Yadda yadda. I wouldn't say it's a luck to the Spain. They deserved to win. We all should have known that through the first half of the match. Ball possession exactly my point. Plus, the Germans look tired. I hope Spain win against Netherlands for finals. Because Oranje, I'm uhh.... full stop. Not going to say anything there. I don't even know what to say frankly. I'm not a fan maybe ? Skip skip.

So anyway, Yaya got herself a cool new bike. Orange in colour (Oranje Yaya ? Really?). And another extra bike in black for any one of us / any of her friends who would want to join her riding. We rode the bike yesterday as soon as Uncle Frank and Uncle Fir deliver it to us. And it was raining when we rode it. Up to no good. Haha. By the way, I think she got the idea to start riding again due to this :-





This was a great night for me. My first time riding a fixie bike. Thanks again to Sya. You wouldn't know how much I love her ! Not only due to this, but for many others too. She's the one and only person I could rely on when I need a shoulder to cry on if I got so stressed out at home. My siblings at home probably too young to be listening to what I have to say. Yaya wouldn't know how to help me out (I figure), if she happens to see me crying. I like to keep things to myself even from my own family. I'll say this though, being the eldest is hard. Veryyy hard. Especially when you got 5 younger siblings that could be judging you because they want to look up to someone's older than them. You'll find yourself trying to be the as-imagined-image your parents hopeful for and trying to be a perfect example to the little ones. And parents, especially Asian parents, toughen you up by not giving you enough credits. Sometimes, it's depressing. And you'll try really hard portraying and conveying them you're good enough for all they wanted you to be. And trust me, most of the time, you feel like a loser, because things will never be enough. As they strive and set you up to be the best among the best. One way to another, it's good and reflects more positive outcome. And I'll probably be thanking them more in the future. For now, fragile human being like myself need to be praised for her efforts. Which most of the time invisible and got replaced with other things I failed to impressed. And in the end, you got praised with none of the things you wish them to see you're doing. And you might act all desperate for them to notice you, knowing that you may not be living under the same roof with them in a few years time.

Now, how can I talk from bike to this aye ? Haha. Told you I'm a mak nenek suka membebel buta. Sometimes membebel helps you to express yourself. I have too many things to share for now. And I'll be having more time next week to pour it all out after I'm done with I.E.L.T.S. InsyaAllah, through my experiences, I'll give my share so that you won't feel as miserable you may be feeling now. Life's a journey. You'll be going through tides and waves, uphill and downhill, lights and darkness, and the list can go on and on. But never let yourself feel like your life is worthless. In the end, the things you could do is, to be happy for yourself and all the good things you know you did if you couldn't make other people notice that.

What a way to end this post. Dramaticccc ! Haha.

Waiting..

I remember like it was yesterday, how I reacted unpleasantly towards not being able to watch 'Pabila Larut Malam' when it first premiered on Astro Prima. I blamed it all on Astro for having a bad signal. How can I not be ? I loveeee Sazzy Falak ! She's the only reason I'm tuning in to Astro Prima an hour early so that I won't missed out the show.

Luckily, it's on air now until 2 ! A perfect time to end the show since I'm waiting for Germany's match against Spain at 2.30 a.m. today. No need to elaborate more on that. I've talked enough. So let's just watch it together and ends it tonight.

Mak nenek side of me

True. Kalau dah hebat tu, hebat la. But it also true that luck can come from the match. Being competitive with the fact. Hehe. That's me.

But you have to agree with me with the jinx part. It's a same call as for being too happy. People said that, if you get overboard with excessive joy, you'll get the total opposite by the end of the day. And it's true. How many of us have had been through that ? And don't lie. All of this happened in relation for you to always stay grounded with everything. Dalam Bahasa Melayunya, 'Beringat'. When we do something excessively, we usually forget our deity. Ye lah, kalau happy sangat, manusia lalai nak ingat Tuhan.

Anyway, going to stop being mak nenek suka membebel. Let's talk about football. Yes. Again. I know. Shhh !!

Obviously, all I've been up to talk about is football lately. Blame me, I can't help but to put up with my intensity in words. Especially with World Cup season that's coming to an end soon. No ! Am not looking forward to that. But that what makes FIFA World Cup so inviting. You have no choice but to wait in patience. And if you're lucky, you'll get through another 4 years being alive to watch another great season of the World Cup matches.

The match all have been venting about for these past few days, of course, between Spain and Germany. It's happening Thursday morning at 2.30 a.m, Malaysian time. I should have just skip that because everyone knows that. Don't I ? Anyway, my point is, I'm so out of my way. I can't help but to feel nervous for Germany like the last time I felt for the Brazilian squad. Which if I add, lost to Netherlands. Is this a sign ?(No ! No ! No ! No ! No !) That maybe, and just maybe, Germany going to lose to the Spaniards. And if so, I would be devastated for myself but happy for Villa. And yes, only him. Okay, maybe Casillas and Iniesta too. But yes, my point is, I'm going to be devastated.

Besides being hopeful, I think what I really need is a lucky charm. And according to Syaz, she's lucky ! Very lucky ! And I want to get a piece of her charm ! (Sing it Orianthi style !). So Syazo, be my lucky charm for the night ! Or the very least, lend me your charm pleaseee (:

This is her with her lucky charm on her right hand. I guess -__- Nampak tak ?
Thank me for securing your picture with a copyright Syaz ! Or, mmm, blame me for stealing. No ? Sorry ):

Being observant

Let's face it. I am never going to finish writing about my Bali trip. I never did finish writing about any of my trips or vacations to anywhere that I have ever been to. Remember Taman Negara with my friends a few months back. Yeah, never get to finish journaling about that too. It might get a little bit too long if I did. Knowing me, I love going into details (Not always necessary for others to read since it's a personal value)so much that it would take me a lot more actual days to finish it than it should have been.

Anyways, some things would be better left unsaid. I guess this is a way of God telling me that sharing is not always a way to show that you care and that you should always be careful with your intentions when doing so. Because sometimes it's not always good to share everything. You'll confused yourself behind the reasons why you're actually telling and sharing some things with people. I'm aware of the thin lines between sharing and showing off. InsyaAllah, let there be a guidance for me to always have good intentions with the things I would be sharing in the future and how I share it.

I have to admit though, most of the things I wrote in the past was a way for me to connect and communicate with my sister, Wowo. She's too far away from home to know everything that's been happening here with us family. And though I'm sure I'm not explaining things perfectly to help her picture us here, I do still hope she could feel like she was with us most of the time when we were doing things as a family. And it's my way of saying that she's not that far and the family always feel like she's here with us and that we miss her dearly. Apart from that, it's another reason for me to help and let myself out and express oneself better in writing. I think it may help me to improve and get better. And perhaps, develop some writing skills through it. InsyaAllah, where there's a will, there's a way.

Anyway, things Alhamdulillah been going well for me. I still have a few things to complain (Keeping in to myself though). That's because I'm not always grateful and not nearly close to perfect. But apart from that, I'm happy 98 percent of the time. Friends been great. They understood, better yet, understands my condition and how I am not always capable to spend that much time with them because I have other things to prioritize. Not that they didn't matter a lot to me. Because they do. But the thing with the time is that, it is never going to be enough for everything. Including friends. Agree ? Ergo, sorry if I weren't able to see some of you guys when I should be. I hope me apologizing this to you came close to me spending time with all of you. Hope we get to spend some time soon (: InsyaAllah.






On another different topic, I think Midzi's brother, Kimi looks a lot like Kaka. I don't have Kimi's picture to show some obvious resemblance though. And I don't think I'm allowed to put his picture here on my blogspot if I have any because I don't have his permission to post it. So, this actually turns out to be pointless because you didn't get to compare. Haha. Anyhow, I have his blogspot url at the side of my 'Daily Reads' column. So you can pay him a visit and see it for yourself.

Stinky's talking

I miss 'The O.C.' all of a sudden. Might go into rerun with the first season soon, since I've just finished watching '90210' complete season 2 this week. A lot of dramas as usual. I'm getting more and more in love with Navid and Teddy. Especially Teddy ! He's so romantic and bigggg ! Big means huggable in this case. And he's a Teddy ! Get it ? Teddy ? Teddy bear ? -___- Please work with me. I think Teddy and Silver make a good couple. So as Adriana and Navid. And I can't help but wanted to be as pretty as Adriana. She's so prettyyyy ! Dark hair with crystal blue (or maybe green) eyes. Well, I think it's green. And I think I've mentioned awhile ago that I like girls with dark hair with crystals like eyes before. Jessica Szhor right ?

Personally, I think '90210' cast the best looking people in comparison to 'GG' or other TV series. One of the reason I'm sticking to '90210'. Sometimes it gets too complicated (because of their stupidity)watching it that I get frustrated. So into the show kan ? Macam poyo pun ada. Haha. And by the way, I miss Ethan being in the picture. I hope he'll get some part in the next season. Let's wishin' and hopin'. Liam's good looking too. Silver pun cantik sangat. Terasa batak sekejab. Haha. Moving on.

I think my life have been so revolved around so many TV series for the past couple of months. Ever since I graduated last October. From Korean, Taiwanese to Hollywood. It's crazy. But what more can I do right ? I mean, I do other stuffs too. Like helping Maa around the house and catching up with my readings. And I do these things everyday. Though sometimes I feel much or less useless, I think I should enjoy it while I still can. Because a few months from now, I'll be starting my degree. And I don't think I'll have enough time for all this when it happens. So, that's life for me now.

In continuation, I think '90210' should make a soundtrack. Because I have been a fan of Jessica Lowndes a.k.a Adriana and her voice since she first sang in the first season. Better yet, the second season, she get to get more part with her singing. This time, in a band called Glorious Steiners. And they sound, well, cool. Just how I like it.

The first time I'm stoke by Lowndes's voice. Shenae Grimes a.k.a Annie Wilson in the show was not bad either. Both of them will make a good duet I would say. But Annie look so anorexic this time that it scares me. She needs to eat more. She will be even prettier with a little bit of meat.

Adriana with Glorious Steiners.

Adriana with Javier (Diego Gonzalez) singing their duet in the show. I thought it was MY Tyson Ritter at the first look. Especially from the side part. And the more and more I look at him, I think he resembles Navid Shirazi. Kan ?

Adriana and the Glorious Steiners, again. Singing Wop (How I know), again. It's catchy right ? Addictive.

My favourite boys from 90210. Hot hot hottie alert ! Can they be more good looking ? I guess not.

Well Hellooo Trevor Donovan (:

Another Trevor with a sexy, adonis look.

The ever so sexy, Navid Shirazi (Michael Steger).

And Liam (Matt Lanter) that's worth to drool on.

The one I truly miss, Ethan (Dustin Milligan).

And who can forget gorgeous looking, Ty (Adam Gregory). I think he looks like Tom Welling. With a slimmer face shape though. What do you think ?

And the good looking teacher, Mr Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold). But he's too stupid (?) to be a teacher. Frankly.

Ahh yess, no Dixon. I can't stand him ! He's the least favourite just because he's so annoying. And since I don't want to look lesbian, I won't even start with the good looking girls, Jessica Lowndes, Jessica Stroup, Shenae Grimes and AnnaLynne McCord. Let them behold in my mind. Haha.

Haven't got the chance to finish watching GG season 3. Haven't up for the mood just yet, though I've bought the complete season 3 about a month ago. Instead, I watched 'Autumn's Concerto' again with Asha last night. Who can blame me ? Vanness Wu is so good looking ! Asian guys are more appealing to my eyes. My personal point of view thank you.

And I can't wait for 'Parenthood' ! Lauren Graham from 'Gilmore Girls' peopleee ! I love her. And Dax Shepard some more. Can't wait !

Okay lah. I think I need to stop. I need to get to shower. I've just got back from Tennis class actually. So go figure. I smell really bad right now. Later !

For an extra fun read, click here.

Continuation

Back !


Helped Maa with few things around the house before I could go back doing what I am doing now. And I can feel my back pain all over again. I've been having back pain since last week. Sometimes, I could even feel the pain coming like an electric shot while I was resting. I'll see myself jump and tingling with the pain. I know how fragile and weak my body can be. I was born that way okay. That's one of the reason Maa signed me up for Strength class at Celebrity Fitness in Subang Parade before. Which by the way, I haven't been there in months. I don't really have that much time to now. Plus, Sherina no longer work there. I like her. She's fun to be with and very supportive. And one of the main reason that kept me going there for my Strength class was her. I know how satisfied personal trainers can be when seeing results or your newly-improved self. One of these days, I'll push myself to train with the treadmill in Celebrity Fitness again. I'm feeling all lumpy and languid.

Last Wednesday, watched America's Next Top Model (ANTM)cycle 13 first episode with Maa and the girls. I must say, I like what Tyra's doing for this season ANTM. Petite short girls like me, mmmmmmmm, okay, maybe a bit taller than me, are given a chance to strut the runaways and be one of America's next top model. Now isn't that cool ? I even got to joke around with Yaya how I may get to have my chance in being one myself. But that was a joke. Clearlyyy (Saying with bulging eyes). So don't get me wrong. Maybe it's a little bit too early to judge since it was my first watch. But I must say, they are all very good looking and prettier than the past seasons. Short girls rule !!! Hehe.

Well, since I can't be too long, I might as well just end this post here. Going to Jay's to hand her, her 'salary'. Then off for kain hunting ! Woohoo. Finally ! Have been waiting for more than a month.

Daughter's love

So hello good morning (:

Okay maybe, good afternoon instead kan. Because it's almost 12.

B.O.B feat Hayley Williams, Airplanes is currently stuck in my head. I can clearly hear them, especially Hayley singing in my head "Can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky, are like shooting stars. I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now ". This have got to be my favourite song for now. Hearing her and B.O.B is somehow soothing (?) I know. That's a weird way to describe this song. But it did that to me. I could drive all day long listening to this song not thinking about anything else. Carefree. And pretending I'm the one who's singing with Hayley's voice. Haha. I wish I could have her voice ):

Maa is cleaning the house. And I'm not sure why I'm here instead and not helping her. I could give myself a break I guess. But letting Maa clean by herself is very rude kot kan ? Okay la. I'll be doing some updates more later. I'm going to check on Maa. Toodles.

Winnie the Pooh words of wisdom

Couldn't agree more with you Pooh because it's true.

I once said, "Because things as small as this, can make a huge different to someone like me at the end of the day." in one of my previous post entitled 'When I should be sleeping'.

A night to remember

When I should be sleeping, it's 12:06 AM on the net-book screen. I've just got back from Ustaz's. Much or less 30 minutes ago. For a good cause indeed, which is to listen to the same guest of honour, Captain James Yusuf Yee from last night's Fundraising dinner for Home of Hopes talking about his personal experience. Tonight we went further into detail on how he got really started in being a muslim himself. And from what he would call from a simple muslim to a muslim that dig into deeper to understand Islam afterwards.

Sharing this to my readers should be a great way to start a new day. With much hope, the sun will shine as bright as the egg when it rises. Egg ? Yes egg.





Understandable I believe (:

Alhamdulillah, being there with Ustaz's, Captain and the others last night was a way of God trying to keep me on track with Him and a privileged I believe God gave me to extend my knowledge and share it with the others. And that is why I'm putting this publicly. InsyaAllah many will benefit as much as I do.


First of all, let me introduce you to Captain James Yusuf Yee, the Former U.S. Army Muslim Chaplain in Guantanamo Bay and one of the first Muslim Chaplain in the U.S.




Captain James Yusuf Yee was converted (as he would like to be preferably called. Instead of reverted) on April 1991. Maa faced me right in the face after he told us about this. I figured well, it was because of my sister, Wowo was born during that time around. Well nothing in relation to Captain James experience though. I'm refreshing things well now that I can still remember each and every detail. At least for now, insyaAllah.

As we went back to Captain James Yusuf Yee story, he grew up in Springfield, New jersey and was raised as a Christian. His mum is a strong believer in Christianity and have been that way since he was a child. Meanwhile, his dad is a secular and did not practice anything whatsoever. Every Sunday until he's in 8th grade, his mother will take him to the Sunday class at the church. Eventually, he was led by his mother to join in the Youth group there. He will be sitting in the Church with a pastor twice a week during the Youth group session together with the other Youth group member learning about Christianity. During 8th grade, he was being confirmed to have completed learning. That is when his mother gave him the freedom whether or not to attend the usual Sunday class because she decided he had gained everything he needs to know to keep his faith in being a Christian.

When he got into 9th Grade, which is during his teenage years, he became passionate about athletic involvement. He will only attend and participate in going to the Church once in a blue moon.

When he got into West Point (College), he began to sense on the need for spiritual. However, he couldn't find any of that as a Christian and began searching for spirituality. Soon after graduating, he got himself being the 2nd Lieutenant officer. And went to an ocean shore to celebrate being a new graduate with a bunch of friends. On the way back after celebrating, he had stopped by Washington D.C to visit one of his college drop-out friend. The meeting had led him to meet his friend's roommate. They were talking and somewhat led to a much more deeper conversation just because Captain Yee confronted him for his need in spirituality and that he somehow couldn't get that in Christianity. His friend's roommate later asked him whether he would take that Jesus not being the son of a God and that God is one. Captain James Yusuf Yee but of course, being a Christian right at the time were furious with the statement being asked. He was later being asked by another question from his friend's roommate, which was whether he knew anything about Islam for that is their belief. Still furious, he answered 'No' and showed some resentment in knowing. What made him caught off his guard was again due to another question that's being asked by the same person, "How can you judge something without even knowing facts about it ?". And then it hit him.

After that day, he went to a bookstore to get a book on Islam. And his first book in acknowledging him towards this one religion was called 'Understanding Islam'. He later got himself a second book, 'Islam in Focus' which explains more on the concept being practice by the Muslims. What amazed and anticipated him was the fact that Muslim also believes in Virgin Mary and Jesus. Just like Christian. And that Jesus is not the son of God, whereby, he is one of the great people in Islam. He would later learn about the other prophet such as Abraham, Moses, Noah, Adam, and et cetera. The fact that he found the prophets name familiar to what he already believes in because he'd learned that before during his days in the Youth group, made him realized Islam is a true religion. And that's when he accepted Islam and took the 'Syahadah' not to long after that. His parents, especially his mother thought nothing more about him being a Muslim then just a passing stage in his life. And that he would come out from his senses and got back in being a Christian.

Upon growing, he have always been living his life and classifying himself as a simple Christian. Nothing like his mother that goes to the Church frequently. Therefore, after he converted from being a Christian to a Muslim, he would still live his life as he would called a simple believer to Islam or a simple Muslim. He would learn and read about the pillars in Islam. About fasting on the month of Ramadhan, doing Hajj once in a lifetime and even about getting something back for the poor and the needy by doing 'Zakat'. He would also learn about other people that have already went for Hajj twice or more than once in their lifetime. And that some Muslims would be fasting on Monday and Thursday eventhough it's not in the month of Ramadhan. And he would said to himself that he would someday do Hajj once and fast only during the Holy month of Ramadhan and nothing more because he wants to be a simple Muslim.

After 5 months being a new Muslim, he was later assigned to be in Germany as an officer. Shortly after, the whole unit where been deployed to Saudi Arabia on the aftermath of 9/11. And they were there for 6 months. During their stay, there was one Saudi Cultural Centre that held out frequent dialogue on Saudi cultural and Islam. And they would spend most of their time there listening that soon after, 5 to 7 thousands of U.S. Army soldiers converted to Islam. There were also a Military memorandum in the centre. At one point, there was a memo informing that the Saudi Military will take the newly converted Muslims to go to Mecca for Umrah. Right then, who could believe how lucky Captain James Yusuf Yee was, because shortly right after he converted to Islam, that is, 5 months after, he was later on his way to do his Umrah.

Upon arriving, he had this usual Western way of thinking on how he would be different from the other Muslims people because he thought that Muslims are only for Arabs and that he would be unique once he reach Mecca. To his surprised, the first group he saw once he got into the 'Tanah haram' was an Asian group. And the ladies mostly wearing white hijab to cover up. It could be Malaysian or Indonesian, but what he had known for sure was that they are Asian people. And he was even surprised to see people of colours being in a one Holy place for one rightful reason, that is for the name of Allah S.W.T. He later met a group of people from America and was excited about it. They were students from Medina that came to do their Umrah. After being given a 4 day off, and benefited an eye-opening experience, he got back to his duty.

Back in his unit, there were a lot of Christian chaplain were instated. But neither one of them was a Muslim chaplain. Since there was no one at that time to represent the Muslim people in the U.S. Army, he had taught himself to be the first Muslim chaplain for the U.S. Army in later years. Which then led him into being the Muslim chaplain in Guantanamo Bay. Though he might not be the first Muslim chaplain, he had said to be proud of serving for the Muslim rights in the U.S. Army while he was on duty.

The continuation of the story would be on his experience being the Muslim chaplain at Guantanamo Bay. As it will reveal the hardship he had to go through and the pain some of the prisoners in Guantanamo Bay had to suffer. Which some, even up to this very day.

Hearing Captain Yee talking about his experience was an eye-opening once in a lifetime experience to me. I would consider myself one of the lucky person to hear this man talk. Because he gave me a memorable two talks. And this is such an enlightenment because I can see how these people who are not born Muslim being more overboard in their knowledge on Islam in comparison to the ones that were born Muslim like myself. It can be sometimes shameful too. Maa have this one Indian girl worker in the hospital that knows almost everything about Islam. And she even told Maa that she wanted to help and talk out of one of her college because the girl was going against every rule of Islam albeit she's a Muslim herself. And listen up, the indian girl is not YET a Muslim. I think it's amazing. And Maa have been trying to find her more books to understand more about Islam and been wanting to take her to meet our Ustaz Hussein Yee. I'll be praying for her to be more open-hearted to embrace Islam even more. And insyaAllah become one, one day.