Random ramadhan's journal

I should still be able to remember how affected I was with Raya when I was younger due to the amount of money I used to collect. Back then, Raya was the reason we, okay maybe, I, was willing to sacrifice my nafsu makan because parents used to say, '1 hari puasa, 1 ringgit'. Bribing much. Hehe. Yes, back then it only took RM1 to get me all hyped, happy and feeling like a RICH girl ! Haha. And a month of Ramadhan was more than rewarding to me when Raya days finally came. Meaning, more money to collect ! Those days were all about collecting duit duit duit ! Kecil-kecil lagi dah mata duitan. Besar-besar gold digger kah ? Haha. InsyaAllah NO !

But as I am now turning older, umm, 21 to be exact this year. I came to realized that I am an aficionado in collecting more pahala (rewards from God) than money itself. I sounded so baik perhaps you say ? Haha. Well I'm not. Probably that's the most possible reason why I'm up to collect more pahala now than way back then. We all know quite well that we were born to be a sinner just because we humans aren't perfect. I'm sinner myself and I admit that. As you get older, you'll realized how much more of a sinner you already are. Just because now you took the time to immortalize the past in which perhaps you wish to do better at to strut something better now for your own future undertakings. Which to me is a good thing. At least you know where you are at. And I actually know where I'm at. And insyaAllah, maybe that's why I'm writing this down. To remind myself and the others. I hope all of us will took the time to study ourselves this month. Don't take this opportunity for granted. This might be your last Ramadhan. We wouldn't know, right ? And insyaAllah, it will not be our last.

Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan's been hard this year but I took it all well. First day as always was exciting. And luckily this year, it felt short and easy as it have had always been a bit hard on the very first day of the fasting month. And I felt lucky to have all of the family members eating together on the first day of break fasting. Especially when this year, we actually decided to eat together in the kitchen with two round tiny tables instead of at the big dining table. Somehow it brings the family together more. I'm not sure why. Maa thought if would be easier for us to clean things up after berbuka and later get ready for our usual tarawikh in Damansara with Ustaz if we eat in the kitchen instead of at the dining hall. No maid this time remember ? Anyhow, it didn't stop us from talking to each other although half of us were sitting at a separate table nearby. It even got louder this way just because we have to speak up in a higher tone to let the person at the other end hear us. The concept was kind of funny, but it didn't matter. All of us were there. That's what matter the most. It was also the first day that all of us went for tarawikh together because Akmal rarely join us.

As for the second day, the family went to Al-Rawsha for berbuka with Uncle Wan's family, Pak Andak's family and Uncle Izhar. Wowo and I couldn't join though because we were stucked in a traffic jam while getting back from Petaling Jaya for Wowo's dentist appointment. It was hard to get my nerve all calm on the road because I highly detest traffic ! Though it would be super nice for us to join the family and their big dine, I'm just thankful we got through another day of puasa. We didn't went for tarawkih that day because the family came back home a bit too late. Since we had some spare time after iftar, Wowo and I decided to bake brownies while waiting for the others to get back. First attempt and it wasn't all bad. It turns out gooood (:

The third day was a bit hard for me because I had migraine since 11 a.m. in the morning up until after berbuka. Even worst, I had a toothache too. I tried to bare with the pain by going to IKEA with my sister , Wowo around 3 p.m. to get some things to revamp one of the room in the house. Though IKEA always fascinate me, it didn't do much to distract me from feeling the pain even more. And as much as I wanted to go for tarawikh, I couldn't bare to even move a little. I had a few bites for break fasting before swallowing down a few pills. So far, it was the worst Ramadhan I had in years. But I was tough through out the day especially when I had to bare with the bad traffic on our way back home from IKEA. I'm glad God gave me the will to go through with fasting. And it was fun to get some extra attention from Maa too. Haha. Ngee (:

The fourth day, which is on Saturday. I decided to not sleep in after sahur to help Maa with the house chores and get started with my on plan Ramadhan cleaning since I've got all of the stuff I needed from IKEA the day before. I was looking forward to change the whole outlook of the room. And so I gave my full attention through out the whole day to clean some things up in the room. Built in one of the wardrobe by myself when later Wowo came to join in and help. As for iftar that day, I had a normal family dining. Nothing out of the ordinary. Foods were great and all of us were there. But being with the family is always special though it was ordinary. Even through rough patches, right ? I was also on for tarawikh with the family again that day after 2 missing days. Blessed.

On the fifth day of fasting, had a big family dine in with extra delicious foods after all the hard work of putting through an almost complete good looking room filled with clothes. Yes, we can now officially called it as a walk-in-closet. Maa got so excited with the new wardrobe. And the expression on her face that very minute was priceless because she honestly look like a kid when she saw. It was nice to know how much she loved the wardrobe eventhough we haven't done with everything just yet. Worthy effort indeed. That very night for iftar, she made her famous black pepper sauce, marinated veggies stuffed chicken, roti john and buttered prawn with egg floss. It was the best iftar I have had yet for this Ramadhan. Hoping for more great iftar in the coming fasting days. And as usual, later that night we went to Damansara for tarawikh with the Al-Khaadem clan. Again, blessed.

The next day was the usual yet again. Nothing out of the ordinary. Catching up with the Ramadhan cleaning alone. But got satisfied with the result. This was also the first day we ate at the big dining table together. This was of course better than the two separate round tables because we can now talk to each other with an eye-to-eye during meal. Tarawikh as usual later that same night.

As for day 7 of fasting, had better visual of the 'walk-in-closet' as it is now very near to almost fully cleaned and organized. And the house look extra squeaky cleannn too !! Can't believe I did it all by myself. I know, conceited much. But please excuse me, I think I deserve it. But I did have some help from Yaya to move around some things. Couldn't possibly do that by myself because I'm no body builder. So, thank you Yaya ! And by the end of the day, that is after iftar, went to see Alonn for Tutti Frutti in Sunway. Missing tarawkih for the 3rd time. But it was all for good intention. Haven't seen him in months. 4 months to be exact. And since I don't have much time left here, it was for the best that I see him now. Afraid that I might not be getting anymore chances to see him later on. By the way, he looks great with a shorter hairdo. Glad he finally cut his hair off short. Ohh, and without the mustache too. Suits him much better than before. Plus, he finally lose some weight ! Yayy ! Happy for him. Keep going Alonn !

It's been 7 days since the first day of Ramadhan. Can't believe how fast time flies. Apparently though, I haven't done much deeds for the sake of Allah this Ramadhan. Except for tarawikh of course and the usual tazkirah right after. Cleaning was a good way to spare my time in the house. I personally think I'm not wasting my time doing it because I did for the sake of helping Maa out around the house and at the same time, for the sake of my religion too. Because Islam beseech us to be clean and that cleanliness is one of the most important things in portraying the real picture of Islam. But I really need to finish up with the cleaning soon. I need to pay better attention in getting more rewards from Him by doing other things like reading the Koran and it's translation. I'm quite lacking at that. What's the purpose in owning one if I don't make used of it ? Right ? InsyaAllah I will try to fit myself through with that. As long as the intention is there, insyaAllah God will help me find the time to.

I think that's all for now. I hope all of you had a great Ramadhan. And insyaAllah many more great days ahead this month for all of us (: Amin.

1st day of Ramadhan 2010

Exciting ! Ramadhan's finally here. Alhamdulillah, after one year of waiting, it's finally here !! Couldn't be more excited (:

In the spirit of this Holy month, I wish all of you a very Happy Fasting ! InsyaAllah, everything we do this month will be because of Him and because we want blessings from Him. And hopefully, everything's good from this month will not just end here as we should sustain it to our daily lives. Allah is indeed very merciful. We should all take every opportunity to commit every doings on this Ramadhan in order to purify our last sins by doing the good deeds in regards to Him. InsyaAllah, Allah will forgive us all if we're really committed. Amin.

InsyaAllah my target this year is to abstain myself from listening to music again. Including while driving the car. And it will be even better if I can watch less tv too. I've had much of those every other months. I really should give my all to Him this month to grab every opportunity to do something beneficial. I know I'll be needing it. And insyaAllah, if I have the will power to sustain it, I will. Let's just hope and try for the best. Again, Happy Fasting to all (: