The thoughts will just have to wait

As I recall - many hours in the office and during my way back home while Uncle Burn was droving the car -, I think I had so many things to include or blog about. There were just so many things I wish I could share that I hardly can concentrate for more than 5 minutes in the amidst of freezing cold office atmosphere.

Been busy trying to juggle my remaining precious time here. How I wish I could just skip the office hour with other things I wish to prioritize. I really need to see some friends before I leave. Hang out and catching up. You know, having fun.

But knowing me, I will never know how to say 'No' to Daddy-O. He wanted me to be ahead all of the others. Learning and understands everything before anyone else. How can I not love him because that's how he cares for me ? As much as I love my mother, I ALMOST always have something to go against her. It's different with Maa. I'm closer to her, yet, my thoughts and hers are always clashing. With her, I did what I'm best at, which is being defensive and opinionated. Ergo, I always go against her. Unworthy child indeed. I'm sorry Maa (:

I don't usually turn on my defensive, opinionated mode with Ayah. It's my way of respecting him. Not that I don't have any respect with Maa. I do. 'Syurga itu dibawah telapak kaki ibu' kan ? It is just, with us being so alike (we're both ego, competitive, defensive and opininated) making the attraction hard to blend in. It's like we're magnets. The positive only attracts the negative magnitude right ? It's like she's a negative magnitude and I'm positive. Why do I get to be positive you ask ? No reason. It can be the other way around and my main point will still be the same. You get what I mean right ? I know she'll miss me when I'm gone. Just because I'm different from all of the others that are always nice to her. Going with her every words. Obeying and abiding. Well I'm not ALL that. Believe it or not, I'm the most rebellious child of hers. Hands down.

I seriously need to stop changing topics like a blink of an eye. Don't even ask how I got here. Hehe.

Being home after long hours at work can be so..peaceful. I couldn't even recall any of my thoughts earlier. Sheesh. It's like my mind was being drained by the serenity in this reckless home of mine. You hear me, reckless. Because there're just so many junk in here (with no maid making it even worst). It's time we get rid of some of the JUNK or if murah rezeki, perhaps, buy a bigger house ? Ahem ahemm, 'Daddddd *freakishly smiling like a lunatic*. Get the signal ?' Hehe. I sound like a huge brat. Benci ! Tarik balik.

Mak nenek strikes back

Rise and shineeee ! Not quite a good day for the German fans I predicted. Haha. Yes, I can predict now. Oooo My Goddd ! (Sing it Usher style this time !)I hate predictionsss ! Anyways, let's skip the things we already know. Yes yes, Viva la Espana. Yadda yadda. I wouldn't say it's a luck to the Spain. They deserved to win. We all should have known that through the first half of the match. Ball possession exactly my point. Plus, the Germans look tired. I hope Spain win against Netherlands for finals. Because Oranje, I'm uhh.... full stop. Not going to say anything there. I don't even know what to say frankly. I'm not a fan maybe ? Skip skip.

So anyway, Yaya got herself a cool new bike. Orange in colour (Oranje Yaya ? Really?). And another extra bike in black for any one of us / any of her friends who would want to join her riding. We rode the bike yesterday as soon as Uncle Frank and Uncle Fir deliver it to us. And it was raining when we rode it. Up to no good. Haha. By the way, I think she got the idea to start riding again due to this :-





This was a great night for me. My first time riding a fixie bike. Thanks again to Sya. You wouldn't know how much I love her ! Not only due to this, but for many others too. She's the one and only person I could rely on when I need a shoulder to cry on if I got so stressed out at home. My siblings at home probably too young to be listening to what I have to say. Yaya wouldn't know how to help me out (I figure), if she happens to see me crying. I like to keep things to myself even from my own family. I'll say this though, being the eldest is hard. Veryyy hard. Especially when you got 5 younger siblings that could be judging you because they want to look up to someone's older than them. You'll find yourself trying to be the as-imagined-image your parents hopeful for and trying to be a perfect example to the little ones. And parents, especially Asian parents, toughen you up by not giving you enough credits. Sometimes, it's depressing. And you'll try really hard portraying and conveying them you're good enough for all they wanted you to be. And trust me, most of the time, you feel like a loser, because things will never be enough. As they strive and set you up to be the best among the best. One way to another, it's good and reflects more positive outcome. And I'll probably be thanking them more in the future. For now, fragile human being like myself need to be praised for her efforts. Which most of the time invisible and got replaced with other things I failed to impressed. And in the end, you got praised with none of the things you wish them to see you're doing. And you might act all desperate for them to notice you, knowing that you may not be living under the same roof with them in a few years time.

Now, how can I talk from bike to this aye ? Haha. Told you I'm a mak nenek suka membebel buta. Sometimes membebel helps you to express yourself. I have too many things to share for now. And I'll be having more time next week to pour it all out after I'm done with I.E.L.T.S. InsyaAllah, through my experiences, I'll give my share so that you won't feel as miserable you may be feeling now. Life's a journey. You'll be going through tides and waves, uphill and downhill, lights and darkness, and the list can go on and on. But never let yourself feel like your life is worthless. In the end, the things you could do is, to be happy for yourself and all the good things you know you did if you couldn't make other people notice that.

What a way to end this post. Dramaticccc ! Haha.

Mak nenek side of me

True. Kalau dah hebat tu, hebat la. But it also true that luck can come from the match. Being competitive with the fact. Hehe. That's me.

But you have to agree with me with the jinx part. It's a same call as for being too happy. People said that, if you get overboard with excessive joy, you'll get the total opposite by the end of the day. And it's true. How many of us have had been through that ? And don't lie. All of this happened in relation for you to always stay grounded with everything. Dalam Bahasa Melayunya, 'Beringat'. When we do something excessively, we usually forget our deity. Ye lah, kalau happy sangat, manusia lalai nak ingat Tuhan.

Anyway, going to stop being mak nenek suka membebel. Let's talk about football. Yes. Again. I know. Shhh !!

Obviously, all I've been up to talk about is football lately. Blame me, I can't help but to put up with my intensity in words. Especially with World Cup season that's coming to an end soon. No ! Am not looking forward to that. But that what makes FIFA World Cup so inviting. You have no choice but to wait in patience. And if you're lucky, you'll get through another 4 years being alive to watch another great season of the World Cup matches.

The match all have been venting about for these past few days, of course, between Spain and Germany. It's happening Thursday morning at 2.30 a.m, Malaysian time. I should have just skip that because everyone knows that. Don't I ? Anyway, my point is, I'm so out of my way. I can't help but to feel nervous for Germany like the last time I felt for the Brazilian squad. Which if I add, lost to Netherlands. Is this a sign ?(No ! No ! No ! No ! No !) That maybe, and just maybe, Germany going to lose to the Spaniards. And if so, I would be devastated for myself but happy for Villa. And yes, only him. Okay, maybe Casillas and Iniesta too. But yes, my point is, I'm going to be devastated.

Besides being hopeful, I think what I really need is a lucky charm. And according to Syaz, she's lucky ! Very lucky ! And I want to get a piece of her charm ! (Sing it Orianthi style !). So Syazo, be my lucky charm for the night ! Or the very least, lend me your charm pleaseee (:

This is her with her lucky charm on her right hand. I guess -__- Nampak tak ?
Thank me for securing your picture with a copyright Syaz ! Or, mmm, blame me for stealing. No ? Sorry ):