10th July 2010

The fact that I failed to do great in my I.E.L.T.S test (I have a feeling) left me with the thoughts to ignore this blog for awhile.

At least, until now (:

I'm all better ! Not convincing aye ? Okay, maybe I'm not ALL better ): But getting there. I'm so frustrated for the fact that I know I can do so much better. If only I managed to control the itch of my nervousness, then all should means well to me. What I should be feeling right now is a sense of relief not regret.

But the reality stands in now. Nothing I could really do to make things different at this point. So I might as well leave the thoughts and wait for the next 2 weeks until the end result is out. Ya Allah, please let it be not-that-bad. Amin

So, what happened yesterday morning was something I should left unmentioned. I don't even want to recall. After I got back from the test, I stuffed my noisy tummy with mee jawa and off for a long nap a minute right after. I know how bad that sound, but I really couldn't care much less that I'm not doing justice for my digestion. For once, I chose to take better care of my heart rather than my tummy first. And at the very least, I know that I'm being fair because I filled my tummy up first to make the noises stop.

Got up by Yaya's noise making device, her handphone. Went downstairs and found out Maa and Ayah had just got back home from golf in Seremban with satay kajang. Apa lagi, lepas tu bedal satay la. But as I was enjoying the food with high satisfaction, the parents started asking me about the you-know-what. I couldn't no longer suppressed my feelings and let them know eventually that I might be failing them. And as much as I wanted to cry, I did not (Clap clap). Instead, I went for a pause and started to complain. And the rest you wouldn't want to know.

Glad all turned out fine by the end of the day. Went to the driving range with Yus to swing some balls. Hundred to be exact. Not much I suppose. They're closing in early at BJ that night. In fact, we were the last one there. And half of the lights were off. Spooky ! Had a few soaring balls to make me forget the not-so-happy things earlier. Since Yus haven't had his dinner yet, we decided to call out Iddy to join us for makan. End up dropping by at Syaz's house for an unexpected barbeque invites because Iddy was there. And met Amir, Syaz's boyfriend and Syaz's sweet cousin, Nawal. Glad the night topped off my suck-ish morning. I'm all good (: Thank you thank you !

I could really use for a wish right now

Panic mode all over again !! Told you it's not going away. Not until it is all over. God, I tried to stuff everything. I can only hope you keep it there and help me go through it. I want to do well. But as always, I'm not putting too much hope because I'm afraid I might get disappointed. Help me because YOU are the only one who could.

And since I'm already asking, can I get a duffle coat, sequin mesh / sequin embellished / embroidered mesh / mesh beaded top, crop top or sweater, bomber jacket, high top sneakers, nude trench coat, trophy jacket and a pair (or more)of boyfriend jeans ? Pleaseeee ! Hehe. Kidding. But but but.. Ya Allah, Kau murahkanlah rezeki aku sekeluarga dan kawan-kawan. Amin.

By the way, remember the diagram from the previous post ? This what had happened since I changed it to my newest profile picture on Facebook.




Tell me I'm being nice. And Ayie, stop it already before you get me annoyed by being so defensive. Everyone have their own opinion. Don't try to push it in so much ! I did totally the opposite. Why push ? So chill man !

Germany, do your absolute best. And that is all I'm asking. For a great forward match.

I'm off to study. I hope I won't be around until I'm done with the test full stop !

She knows better

Remember this.

Boleh tak kena marah pula dengan Mama sebab mengadu dengan dia saya mungkin mengidap 'Onset Insomnia' ?

Haha yes. Maa scolded me for having the idea that I might have 'Onset Insomnia'. She said, it's all in the mind and that I let the satans took over me. Failing to satansss !!

Well, I guess she's right. I'm giving away too many reasons for not being always the early bird. And that I need help up for subuh prayers most of the time. Being 21 is the more reason why Ayah and Maa are having a headache trying to deal with my irresponsible behaviour. I depended too much on my parents when I'm at home. It's like I'm 2 years old again around them. I am way independent when I'm alone in college. Which is why I think having the opportunity to study abroad is the best way for me to really grow up and be wiser than I am already am. Besides, I think the family needs to learn to miss me sometimes. Let me be the only person to know why (:

By the way, I had another offer which had just came in. Alhamdulillah, more options to choose. I am indeed happy. And nervous at the same time waiting to be sit for the I.E.L.T.S test soon. I can't help but wanted to do at least A-okay. I don't want to feel like a loser. Hehe. Doakan ya ! Amin.

One fine Friday night in June

The panic mode I had earlier this morning soothes up after I force myself to study for my upcoming I.E.L.T.S test just now. I tried to blog about it first thing in the morning but the home Compaq made a lousy switched off by it's own. Frustrating because I've had just made myself a long like essay post. Anyway, I feel all better now because I tried doing some exercises for the test. But I know myself too well to keep my nerve calm at all times. Because I'll be on it again before I go to bed. It always happen. The panic mode will keep coming in an everyday cycle. Twice. And if I don't allow myself to study, it will happen more frequent than just twice a day. But I guess, all means well. It helps me to really study for this test. Putting almost and not likely 100 percent. Or not, I'll take it for granted. Especially when it don't count as much. See, I'm already taking this for granted.

Anyway, I'll be sitting for the test in 2, 3 weeks time from now. So, caiyokkk caiyokkk !! Haha.

Last night, went to watch Toy Story 3D with Maa and the rest in Sunway Pyramid. Count Ayah and Wowo out though. Ayah couldn't make it because he had to go and meet his client. Wowo on the other hand, you know, still stuck with the Egyptians. I can't seem to remember the last time Maa went for a movie with us at the cinema. I even bought 3 couple seats tickets for 6 of us 3 days earlier because Maa was the one who suggested that we watch this movie.

The movie started at 8.45 PM and ended around 2 hours later. I was obviously crying because I'm a tear jerker. No shocker there. Maa cried even worst though. And yes, I got it from my Mama ! It's a great movie for the whole family. We laughed and we cried. And the main point here, we enjoy it as much as the first and the second movie. I'm glad Maa joined us. We should do this more often ! Next time, count on Wowo and Ayah too. InsyaAllah.